and we all laughed gilded butterflies
by queen-of-anarchy
Summary: just because you want something, doesn't mean you need it./André- centric, André/Jade; Jandré.


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Because everything is **okay** when she walks by, everything is _beautiful_ when her blue eyes clash with yours with such fierce attitude, you can't even _move_ for a couple of seconds, at least not until little miss Vega sits by your side and you remember.

The pretty girl with the blue _eyes_ **can't** be yours. Settle for Vega, settle for Vega.

After all, Vega is what West isn't. Vega's **nice**, Vega's **sweet** & Vega **cares** about you. West **doesn't**. West **isn't** nice, West **isn't** sweet & West doesn't **care** about you. (_but why would she if she's got Beck?)_

But the day you see her _drunk_ out of her mind in the bar where your mom sings jazz was the day when guilt started to gobble up in your innocent **&** sweet, naïve little mind. You offer her to take her home. She accepts, knowing you'll never harm her.

.

The next day you realize **beck&jade** is no more; because now it's **beck&tori** (_and you just want to punch him so hard for leaving an amazing girl like Jade. you clench your fists and bit back harsh comments_)

Because beck&tori just sounds _so much better" _than beck but at least beck&tori doesn't make you feel as jealous as you were when beck&jade still existed.

So that night, you walk up to her house, /_not really sure your there_/ and you knock on the door. Luckily she answers & with hurtful insults aside, she lets you in. You two go up to her room & eat the pizza you bought with you. She doesn't talk much, but that's okay, because your used to the silence, she just stares at you, as if questioning why your even here. But you try to ignore that weak-kneed stair.

Then she kisses you.

It's **not** the kiss which one would describe as **sweet** or **pure**; it was **desperate** & **needing**. So you try to kiss her back, as gently as you can, but she has none of that. Between soft sobs & few blurbs the kiss continues between you two like two leaves flowing in the breeze.

.

You two fucked that night.

You would love to call it _make love_ but it wasn't that. Because making love is sweet & erotic, it's between two people who love each other and decided to lay down out of love, not **desperation**.

Because you **fucked** like it was the last thing you'll ever do. Like wild monkey sex, like rabbits humping each other, with nails clawing down your back as you pounded against her with intensity you never knew you even had in you. She bit you several times and she even moaned. (_but she didn't moan your name because you'll never be good enough_.) so it was very, very wild.

But jade was jade & you were you. (_and that isn't gonna change_)

.

Three weeks of fucking later, you discover that **beck&tori** is no more.

And, of course, Vega comes _crying_ to you, because you're her best friend. (_but that's all you'll ever be_.)

And now, when you call Jade, she doesn't answer, she doesn't text you back and she doesn't even look at you sometimes. (_that when you realized you were just sex buddies, nothing more and nothing less_.)

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A week later; **beck&jade** is together once again and all is right in the world.

But not yours, because your world is always **fucked** up. Jade hardly talks to you anymore and you start to feel hollow, you try to fall in love with _smiles&glitter_, but she isn't _insults&bitter_.

And you want insults&bitter, but she is together once again with **perfect&talented**.

And your fucking world sinks down.

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You **knock** on her door and she steps out, wearing one of **Beck's** t-shirts, (_so you know they were fucking_.) but they probably were actually making love. (_something he never did_)

"What do you want?" She asks.

You **open** your mouth but you **close** it again. It's useless. She steps outside & closes the door.

"Look, André, we're done. In fact we were never together. We were sex buddies; but that's it. Just that, now go away please, I' m kind of busy right now." And then she just shuts the door.

.

So now you're in Tori's house, trying to play a song but your fingers won't work your magic. Because you don't feel the magic.

Tori sits beside you & you give her a fake smile. She notices in and frowns and then she _kisses_ you.

And you try to savor the **glitter&sweet** in her kiss, but all you can think of is the **bitter&hate** in _her_ words.

.

You marry **glitter&sweet** years later & **bitter&hate** marries **perfect&talented**.

So all is right in the world. _Somehow_.

.


End file.
